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April 30, 2006
Gargak!
I am going out of my mind with boredom. I know everyone is busy with final stuff. And I should be. And I am. But I don't want to do it! Usually I distract myself with e-mail, AIM, checking blogs, even Facebook. But it seems like all weekend I've been getting few e-mails, no one's on AIM, no one's blogging, nothing is changing on Facebook. Obviously I'm checking all this stuff every time I get the urge to stop doing work-- i.e. every 3 seconds-- which is certainly adding to this feeling, but seriously! Where are you people?
Posted by kt at 3:37 PM | Comments (4)
April 29, 2006
Etch-a-Sketch
Bint. All this good stuff I wish I could say! But I don't want to incriminate anyone. And I'm not sure what won't come off sounding sketchy as hell. Anyway. I had a good time last night.
Posted by kt at 11:16 AM | Comments (0)
April 28, 2006
Things That Are Hard:
1. Getting up after the millionth night of getting less than 7 hours of sleep.
2. Going to German LAB when you've realized you never want to learn anything about the German language ever ever again. Well. At least not from Crazy McGermanteacher.
3. Admitting you killed the plant your boyfriend gave you, as you kill all plants.
4. Showering when both your towels are in the washing machine in the basement. Well the showering is easy. It's the after part that gets hard...
5. Getting through hours of homework so you can spend the late afternoon/evening/night with your honey.
Also, Happy 150th Post! Ah what a year.
Posted by kt at 11:48 AM | Comments (0)
April 26, 2006
When You're Lying Here in My Arms
I'm just looking for a way to procrastinate further on my paper. But also I have some more happy babbling to do. And then probably a bit of complaining.
Last night we fell asleep in each other's arms. We never can really get together before 9 or 10 and you all should know how awake I am by midnight. Like right now in fact I'm basically asleep already, thus the fabulousity of the paper I'm avoiding. So we got together last night around 10. And it was wonderful. And at like 1:20 I'm like, "At 1:30 we really have to go" except by 1:30 we were both asleep. Of course then I woke up at 2 and said something like "Oh Fuck. It's 2AM." Two things about walking home at 2AM:
1. It's cold.
2. All the bars have just closed so everyone you meet is drunk.
Okay 3 things.
3. It looks sketchy as hell. It's like the walk of shame five hours early. Except of course my Engineer always walks me home. Because he is a gentleman, and because of #2.
So I could rave about our time together, but I'm not sure what you guys can handle. Besides it's sort of private and special. And special for being private.
So onto complaining:
English: Paper, Documentary Film
German- test, corrections, 10 minute presentation
Geo- LAB write up, giant cumulative final exam
History- dull 10 page paper.
It's gonna be a super weekend.
Posted by kt at 11:11 PM | Comments (5)
Um... Please Work?
Posted by kt at 11:08 AM | Comments (5)
April 24, 2006
You may now find facebook pictures of myself and my Engineer. :-D There's one that I untaged just of me in the album "Katie all dressed up" and there's one under his profile where I'm labeled "[my Engineer]'s gf I can't remember her name". And then there are two linked straight from my profile. :-D
If you don't have faceboook, sucks for you. No seriously, I'll get them up somehow. Probably.
Posted by kt at 8:00 PM | Comments (2)
Everything is Better Again
Well actually. Everything is exactly the same. I just feel okay about it again. He sent me a happy e-mail. A nice e-mail. And so now I can deal with my life again.
All the rest of it always and still sucks. Ah well.
Posted by kt at 3:39 PM | Comments (5)
April 23, 2006
Sliding Toward Melancholy
Sometimes I wish things could be the way some men thing they are. You see someone you find attractive. You do whatever the two of you want and you don't worry about conversation, romance, or talking in general. But it's worth it right? All the trouble of relationships, is better than that system, right?
I know this is kind of a departure from my last post. But that's the thing about relationships isn't it? Someone makes you really happy, you want to be with them, and if something is wrong-- even a little wrong-- you worry. You can't be happy because you're afraid your happiness is going to be taken away from you.
Long story short, I said something that was misinterpreted. And he's at home so we can't really talk it out face to face. And I just feel like he's really mad at me. Although obviously I can't be in his head. Since I said this thing we've spent hours making out. Then it came up again and he told me he angry at me for it. Confusing no? Anyway. I feel really alone. Because the people that I feel like I can talk to about these things don't know him. And the people that do know him don't really know me.
And I've just been obsessing over this since last night. I hate phone conversations. Things always come across wrong. I hate that I'm this upset over this. I didn't sleep well last night and I've been tense and totally unable to concentrate all day. Not that my concentration was working all that well when things were going perfectly between us.
I need friends here that I really trust. And I don't have any.
Posted by kt at 2:35 PM | Comments (1)
April 22, 2006
Squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Apparently many of you did not have a good yesterday. I feel for you friends. But now I'm going to babble happily a bit. Squeeeeee.
So. He picked me up at 6:20. And he had a three piece suit *giggle* And we look very lovely together. Pictures are sure to follow at some point. My roommates played the role of my (lesbian) parents (they both wanted to be my mom). And they took lots of pictures. Oh! And he brought me flowers. :-D And then we walked over to the house and waited a bit. Milled around and talked to people, mostly to each other though. Met lots of brothers.
And then we went to the place and ate yummy dinner and danced and danced and danced. And danced. He's actually a really good dancer. I'm not. But we had fun. My face hurt from smiling so much. Actually my neck kind of hurts a lot now from how tightly I tied my dress- but that's unrelated. So we danced and danced. And we laughed. And he was silly. And I was happy. I give it most fun dance I've ever been to. There were actually a lot of girls there that I knew, which was nice, but I didn't really talk to them. ;-)
Afterwards we went back to the frat house for a little while. Don't worry kids I didn't have anything to drink. Although I did promise to try the green stuff some other time... Though I may renig on that one. Then we went back to his place. But don't worry. Things stayed PG-13. Actually we did fall asleep on one another at one point. Because it was like 1AM when we got to his room. But back to squeeing. He calls me sweetheart. Which is conincidentally my very favorite endearment. And I could say some other things about how happy we make each other but maybe I should keep that stuff a bit private. Or distribut it on a person to person basis. Anyway. I had soooo much fun. I really really really like this guy. Who convinently is my boyfriend. So it works out nicely.
We saw each other again today (after 8 hours yesterday) and we were just going to grab lunch. Two hours later we were.... "talking" in a stairwell, sort of on our way to get back to work.
Maybe this is really obvious. But this is the best relationship I've ever been in. He's crazy about me, I'm crazy about him. We respect each other while being all over one another. He's actually an incredibly nice guy. He's smart and funny and sweet and just the right height and I'm obviously pretty attracted to him. I'm finally in a relationship were we're good for each other. I think it's fair to say that every other guy I've ever dated wasn't good for me and some of them weren't good to me. My Engineer and I are really a good fit. And I'm really happy.
Posted by kt at 3:24 PM | Comments (3)
April 20, 2006
I Feel As Though I May Relapse Back to Death.
Perhaps this weekend. And next week. And the week after. And finals week. Then I'll be alive, I'll just have nothing to say.
Posted by kt at 12:04 AM | Comments (2)
April 18, 2006
Also,
Your illegal name needs a "z" on the end. Trust me. M Dubzzzzzzz.
It'll be hot. Oh Lord. I'm turning into Paris Hilton.
Posted by kt at 10:47 PM | Comments (3)
I Do Not <3 Tuesday
How quickly days pass by. Yet they seem so slow.
Yesterday was nice because it culminated with four hours with my Engineer. Today not so nice. First I hate my Tuesday/Thursday schedule. Second I've become suddenly aware of how much crap I have to do before finals week. Third I got less than 5 hours of sleep last night-- I enjoyed the way I spent my time, but I woke with a headache due to the lack of sleep and I spent the day feeling tired and worn down. I haven't gotten enough sleep in so long. German did not go well. Let's leave it there. English also made me feel panic over the end of the semester. I'm worried about my film. I finally got some work done. But not much. And I had meetings.
The nicest part of my day was easily when my Engineer called me randomly around 8, and then while we were talking appeared in front of me. V. nice suprise. So we got to see each other for maybe 10 minutes. And I don't remember what we talked about, but it was a reasuring conversation. Probably better that he can't play tonight for several reasons, but the one I'll share is my obvious need of sleep.
Yeah. I'll just got to get a wee bit o' reading done. Perhaps in bed. That always works out so well.
Posted by kt at 10:40 PM | Comments (0)
April 16, 2006
A Small Thought
God. Please don't let anyone ever find the poetry on my computer. Amen.
Posted by kt at 8:22 PM | Comments (5)
Back in the Leopard's Den
Here's a different topic. An oldie, but a goodie. As you may recall my two biggest fears in life are:
1. Becoming my mother
2. Becoming a republican
In that order. I don't know how I forgot in three weeks the way she drives me crazy. We've getting along better recently than we ever did before, but I suppose some of that is the whole not living together thing.
This whole weekend however, I basically went insane. And I hate myself when I'm a bitch to my own mother. I just can't stop. She seems to bring it out in me like no one else can. Even when she's being incredibly nice to me. I swear though, her memory *bashes head against wall*
Tell me that everyone is like this, that I'm not the only one who just can't get along with their mother.
I may have to add a subfear to #1, having a daughter as mean and stuborn as me.
Posted by kt at 4:03 PM | Comments (3)
April 12, 2006
Bint I <3 My Underdrawers
My lucky underdrawers have to be the luckiest piece of clothing known to man. Let's review shall we?
1. I was wearing them at the Snowball, the only HS dance I ever enjoyed.
2. I was wearing them at the Awards Ceremony.
3. I was wearing them that one time in like September when I actually finished all my assigned homework.
4. I was wearing them when I got my 91 on my Geo test.
5. I was wearing them when I met my Engineer.
6. I was wearing them last night when my Engineer said to me, "So I know we just met, but what do you think of us?" So it was a dangerous conversation for a few seconds there, but what he wanted me to say was that I wanted to date him. (I totally made him say it first-- I can be such a girl sometimes-- but seriously this is my first relationship where I wasn't the one who either asked the guy out, or after making out for awhile I had to be like..so um...are we..like a thing?) It was pretty nice to have him be the one asking. Of course I maneuvered with skill, and we are now a boyfriend/girlfriend dating thing! Which I highly prefer over a "something".
I can't believe I met this guy...less than 2 weeks ago. Sorry to torment with another post about my shallow nature. If I wasn't posting this though, I definitely would not have gotten out of bed at 7:25 to post anything.
Posted by kt at 7:27 AM | Comments (2)
April 11, 2006
Not Suitable For Children Under 13
I feel like it's been a while since I posted. But I think it was yesterday... Ah well.
I'll give you the boy update, since that's really all I think about. He came back Sunday night and we talked on the phone (we live so far from one another!!) Then last night we met at F-non, walked back to my place, and watched DVDs, talked, hung out, did PG-13 rated things, etc.
What is the saliva count up to now?
In other news. Yesterday we shared four minutes of our films, and I almost had a positive feeling about mine. Maybe like 2 or 3 hours this week could get it up to offical Rough Cut status. I get my German test back today, so say a little prayer for that one. My lab partner and I are finally getting together to finish a lab that's due tomorrow, they we've had weeks to work on. (Oh Utz! Don't fall apart!) And I have a million hours of class. And I need to finish my McKelvy Paper. And I think that's an satisfactory update on my life.
Posted by kt at 8:34 AM | Comments (1)
April 9, 2006
In Response to Ru's Comment
(First of all we had math together in 8th grade and that's when we met).
We did become involved after a dance, but I picked Ru up. I decided I liked him, and I flirted and put out all the subtle signals that I'd like a relationship.
With the Engineer I met him randomly, and then he e-mailed me. Before I even had to do all the girly stuff. For once I was persued!
I must really not want to do my work to be posting this. Hmm. Yep. I really don't want to do my work.
Posted by kt at 3:31 PM | Comments (2)
April 8, 2006
Palm Sunday Eve
Wrote a long rant. Deleted it. Will attempt to write something different.
The boy in red needs a new illegal name because I realized it's actually just an extended version of my previous the boy. I could call him the Engineer, because he, along with the rest of Laf. lepers, is one. Anyway. I've decided that we're at least a something now. Because yesterday we held hands. And boys don't do that with girls they don't want to be a something with.
PS- It's very weird to me that a week ago yesterday I got picked up at a party by a guy. It's weird right? Seems pretty out of character.
I'm trying to think if I have anything to say that isn't about boys. I = shallow. Um. Tomorrow is Palm Sunday! And I am Narrator #2 in the play thing being put on by the college students. It'll be pretty sweet. Trust me on that one. And Grey's is new tomorrow night. Although that doesn't make me sound less shallow. Anyway. I think I'm staying in tonight and sleeping a lot.
Posted by kt at 8:52 PM | Comments (2)
Giggle.
My inbox is full of his e-mails. And I'll never delete them. :-D
Posted by kt at 8:32 AM | Comments (3)
April 5, 2006
"Is This The Place That I've Been Dreaming Of?"
I'm not sure it would bother me if the boy in red did read my blog. I've probably said a large portion of what I've posted to him. That happens to me. When I'm nervous large chunks of things I'd rather not say seem to fly out of my mouth.
A few highlights:
-Forgot to mention that I cut my hair. Not too much. No one's said anything about it or anything.
-Have had 4 classes cancelled this week, yet still have years worth of work....
-Conquered climbs 3 and 4 out of 7 on the rock wall today. I thought I was going to die. A lot. But you can't fall too far, and it's almost fun to hang there and yell at the rocks.
-Finished the roughest of rough cuts of my documentary (Yay!) Don't worry. It's still a piece of crap.
-Utz (my earthquake resistant building) held weight today!!
-I also had a super hunt for my "missing" cell phone which turned out to be in my backpack.
-I defended the ALF budget to Student Government-- basically easy.
-I played Keane's "Somewhere Only We Know" 14 times (so far).
Posted by kt at 10:30 PM | Comments (1)
The Boy (Man?) in Red
Okay. Two things. One-- WHY IS IT SNOWING IN APRIL???
Two. I went to a party last night. On a Tuesday! Because the boy in red invited me. And he sends the most sincere e-mails I've ever read. They contain words like "vividly" and make me happy inside. And because everyone told me I should go. Everyone who knows the boy in red refers to him as either, "nice", "smart", or "AWESOME" --and with those kind of reviews even if we only end up being friends, how could I not pursue it?
Anyway. I had a good time. He was on duty, so he wasn't drinking, which was kind of nice. It doesn't bother me when people drink, it was just interesting to see what he's like sober --basically the same, slightly more....maybe I should say slightly less silly. I was pretty nervous, but we didn't really run out of things to say, so that was good. And he must have not had a horrible time because he invited me to go with him to the Phi Psi formal. And why would he do that if he didn't want to spend time with me? (Although I keep having these flashes of those movies where the cute boy asks the ugly girl to prom as a practical joke...)
Also. He likes Boy Meets World. So we'll always have that in common.
For those of you keeping score at home there are now....at least four "illegally" named boys on this blog. I must be some kind of slut. Five if you count Ru.
Posted by kt at 10:55 AM | Comments (6)
April 4, 2006
Prepare!
For either a really happy entry tomorrow morning, or desperate sad e-mails.
Posted by kt at 8:35 PM | Comments (0)
April 3, 2006
On a Totally New Note
I just found out that my old house was largely destroyed by a fire. It feels weird. I know I don't live there anymore, but I did. And I have all these memories of this place that exsists for no one now. I still carry a sense of ownership because I grew up there, and now it's gone. It feels really weird. Yeah.
Posted by kt at 10:01 PM | Comments (3)
April 1, 2006
PS
That was not an April Fools joke. Even though my attending a crazy party and being hit on by a cute guy do seem unlikely.
Posted by kt at 5:48 PM | Comments (3)
Lucky Underdrawers Strike AGAIN!
Yesterday. Evening. There was a party. I was there in my RED dress. With my lucky underdrawers. Flirting back and forth with a guy. He started it.
Okay so details. He was well, fairly drunk. But I always think it's funny when people apologize to me for being drunk. (Heh, first I typed crunk.) And he wasn't anything like that guy who kissed me at the 1000 nights dance, the guy still had all his talking facilties intact. At first I thought he was totally smashed-- he came over to me and shook my hand and told me how much he loved the cookies I'd baked. "God bless the person who made these cookies!" So I just sort of nodded and such, but then he kept talking to me. For a long time. And he turned out to be capable of conversation. Good conversation. Although I'm not actually sure how much one retains from conversations had while at least slightly drunk--I sort of hoping this one remembers me name. Not that I plan to date him for one particular reason.
1. He's a Phi Psi. So I will probably never see him again as I avoid their house due to circumstances you can probably figure out.
It was actually sort of funny, at one point a friend of mine leaned over and was like LOUD WHISPER "How does it feel to be flirted with by a boy wearing red??" It took me a minute to realize she was also walking the fine line of sloshed. The funny part was that he was about this [____________________________________] far away when she said this. But neither she nor he seemed to notice. So I guess those who are 1-2 sheets to the wind can't talk to each other so well....
Anyway. To summarize. I cute guy flirted with me for at least a half an hour. He offered to teach me how to play Beruit, and invited me to come over to the Phi Psi house for Happy Hour (which in college land lasts for 3 hours). He even said he'd teach me with punch. Which was sweet. Of course I won't go. Because of the whole above. And I don't really know anyone but him and the person I'm avoiding who frequent Happy Hour. But I sort of wish I could go. Of course he might not remember me. Again, I have no clue how much one retains.
Posted by kt at 5:28 PM | Comments (3)